homesick at home

desert boots

I've been trying to keep busy since he left. It is such a wierd feeling...feeling homesick in your own home. That is the only way I can describe it. I have new found appreciation for women who send their men off to war for years at a time. Especially those who have children. I cannot imagine being in that position. I only have to wait 54 days to see him and we don't have kids yet. And I know he's safe and not in a war. I am lucky. We are lucky. He will be back soon. But it is still hard. It is preparing me for how it might feel if/when he is deployed.

Friday after I left the hotel and he went off to the airport I did some retail therapy at outlets in Maine. Hit LL. Bean and others. Stayed within my budget and got some really pretty things including a few skirts and summer dresses. I rarely wear skirts but do like how easy they are in the summer. Plus Cary loves when I look girly so I figured he'd appreciate them too. I love one skirt in particular from LL Bean...

...so pretty and flowy. Have a basic white t shirt to go with it. Also got a flowery blue skirt and will wear that with just a white t as well. I should own stock in white-t's. I wear them with everything all year round! I know ...boring but they are so easy!

Friday night I went to the paint-your-own-pottery Girl's Night after dinner at a friends. It was fun but I was so overtired from getting up at 3:30 am and getting very little sleep. Saturday I slept in and cooked dinner for my parents and brother and sister last night. It was so nice having them over. We haven't been able to host anyone since January when we had all the issues with the apartment begin. So it was nice to have them over. I'd like to do that again when he gets home.

Today it is rainy and gloomy out. I plan on doing chores: bills, laundry, etc and then going to my knitting circle tonight. I also rented more of Season 1 of Weeds and the movie He's Just Not that Into You. Looking forward to watching that tonight!

Happy Sunday!

Easter

tulips on my kitchen table

Sending everyone wishes for a Happy Easter. Spent some nice time with Cary and my family today. After Cary went off to work and my Dad was driving my brother back to college - I spent time with my mom and sister and watched Slumdog Millionare. Makes you feel grateful for what you have watching that movie.

Thinking of what is important.

I'm feeling nostalgic today.

Memories of childhood, Easter dresses, playing outside, first warm days of Spring. I think I have been feeling so crummy about situations lately and trying desparately to feel grateful...then guilty when the junk consumes me.

But today I feel grateful.

Grateful for the nice childhood I had and the place I can still go back to. Home. Here's my random memories of this time of year as a kid...

• Easter dresses and white patent leather shoes...that most importantly had to make noise when I walked...a nice grown-up clicking sound on the wood floor.
• Making mudpies for dad in my playhouse...pine-needles, water from the brook and sawdust from Dad's work made the best recipes.
• Walks to the mill.
• Marathon Monday at Aunt Esta's House on Windemere Road. Every year. Every year of Mom's childhood too. Patriot's Day just isnt' the same without that long ride to Newton to watch the runners and see the Aunts.
• Raking leaves.
• One day I remember it wasn't warm enough yet. Mom and Dad were raking leaves outside and I found the shopping bag with some new Spring/Summer clothes for me and I put them on and went outside. I wasn't supposed too...and it really wasn't warm enough. But they were so pretty and new! I'm still like that...
• Bike rides with Rachel (my cousin and childhood best friend), playing in the brook, running around the house, picking daisies.
• Lilacs.
• Taking a long bike ride with Rachel from Grammy's to the local farmstand to buy a plant...rode all the way back and planted our single Impatient in the shade garden near Grammy's window. Our attempt at competing with Grandfather's amazing garden!

Wow. Time flies. What are your favorite childhood memories of this time of year?

Happy Easter and Happy Sunday!

today

So today was Phase I of "The Confrontation." A meeting with a senior manager of the apartment complex since we were getting nowhere with our direct complex manager. We got some answers...some things still are unanswered. We were informed of some adjustments to our upcoming lease renewal to allow us the option to break our lease when this problem is over if we decide to...since we can't move til it is over...and they are going to increase thier level of communication, etc....

Oh....and they won't be raising our rent.

Now to see what Phase II brings....

So glad to have that meeting over with though. When I am anxious, nervous or angry I feel it in my gut. I get so nauseous. Yuck. So after the meeting I went on the treadmill for a bit, made myself dinner and am now waiting for clothes in the dryer. Thanks so much to everyone who has left little kind thoughts. I know I'm vague on here about the problem we have been having and it is hard to really explain but I truly appreciate the kind words of encouragement. They mean a lot.

I hope this is all over soon. We are going on month 4 soon. 6 if you count the few months before we had an issue. I just want to live like a normal person again!

But...on to better and bigger things. I got tagged by my blog friend Toni :) For this one you need to:

Go to the photos folder on your computer.
Go to the seventh folder of
photos.
Go to the seventh photo.
Put the seventh photo on your blog
along with a description.
Invite seven friends to join.


Cary would love that his old friend "Ginger" is featured on my blog today! This is an old photo he has of his childhood dog. She was literally like his mom. His pal. For Christmas a few years ago I had scanned in his old picture and cropped and fixed it up a little. I had it printed out and framed for him. So now (when our apartment is normal) Ginger and my old dog Maddy sit on our entertainment center. Our little shrine to our furry friends who our playing up in dog heaven together!

So now, I'm tagging: Everyone! Anyone reading who wants to give this a try!

good will come

a reminder in my kitchen

I have been hibernating for the last 24 hours. Both because of the cold and more worries. I must sound like a basket case. Lately for every good thing that happens {like paying off my car Thursday} one irritating/worrysome thing occurrs. It is a long story that I won't get into. It really isn't the end of the world or earth shattering - just irritating, time consuming and plain aggrivating.

Anyhow...I did stay in from the cold {for the most part} yesterday. Had all intentions of going over to the gym but I slept terribly on Thursday night {see above - worries - my mind has no shut-off button} so felt groggy all day yesterday. Did a little work for my classes, rested on the couch and watched Season I - Heroes but couldn't fall asleep for a nap, played a game on the computer with Cary and later on we went out to pick-up Chinese. So good!

I got some pictures I ordered from Scrapbookpictures.com in the mail. November and December. So I can finish up my December Daily and my 2008 In Review Album. I also finished up my Week #2 for the 52 Q challenge. Actually finished it just now. I had been working on it a little at time all week but wrapped it up this am.





Feeling like I want to catch up with my world today. Clean up this apartment a little. Print out syllabii for my classes that start over the next week. Take some photos. Bake some cookies. Just have a fun day and enjoy the sun, my health, my relationship and all that is GOOD. My cousin from California who I never get to see but love - sent me a message on facebook in relation to my mind and worries. She said she tells herself "out of this good will come."

I will hold on to that.

Out of this GOOD will come.

Also realized I was tagged on Miss. M'sblog to share 5 addictions. Fun idea! I'm going to try and post that later.

Happy Saturday!

today

Prima clear stamps. Stamped in black ink and clear heat embossed. Colored with watercolor pencil and cut out. Mounted on Making Memories paper and some scraps. Distressed edges with my new Close to My Heart distressing tool which I love! Finished with some blue Stickles.

I feel like I have been out of touch for most of the day. Our phone/internet/cable stopped working this a.m. We now have phone and internet (thank goodness) but no TV. Which means...no Grey's Anatomy! Boo! It is sad how connected I am to being connected.

I just got back from Barnes & Noble trying to find a birthday gift for my dad. No luck. Brought Wendy's food to Cary at work. We had the dinner of champions...dollar menu!

Today was a nice day overall. I was less worried. Kept myself distracted. I had a mug-up (coffee break) with my dad this morning. I loved it. He is one of my favorite people and not just because he's my dad. He's just a good person. Funny and good. I don't feel like I see him much since moving so it was really nice to spend an hour with him talking.

Later this a.m. I did some art. Heather linked over to Emily Falconbridge's blog the other day. She is doing a project this year called 52 Q. I decided to join in. I'm also working on uploading my pictures to the Flickr group. Each week the task is to respond to the week's question in a piece of art. Today I worked on Week #1. I have opted to do ATC-size (2 1/2x 3 1/2) artworks each week. Using up what supplies I already have and it is small scale so I won't feel overwhelmed. I have the question written on one side and my journaling/answer on the back.

Here's what I have for week #1:

Supplies: Memory Makers paper, Autumn Leaves journaling stamp, Memory Box stamps (bird and tree), Creative Cafe sticker ("Wish"), Studio G alphabet stamp and clear border stamp, inks and watercolor pencils, water brush.

Speaking of Heather I received the calendar I won in her blog give-a-way. It is awesome! Beautiful. It is sitting on my scrap desk. Which by the way, I realized I didn't post an important part of last night. The set of drawers my dad made years ago that I repainted. It holds my stamps, inks and punches. This was a big part of my reorganization to make room for my stamps. On top of these drawers sits my new calendar! And some family photos.

Well. I am off to catch up on the world of blogs I missed today. And continue my quest to not worry. But it seems when the apartment is quiet and I'm alone I worry. I'm also feeling overly emotional today in general. It is ending my week's vacation, I'm feeling post-holiday let down and Cary's leaving for guard tomorrow. Again...no real reason to be sad or down or worried. That is what is so annoying. What is my problem?! Most people would kill for an entire weekend with an empty apartment. I usually love it! I need to change my outlook.

the seemingly insignificant

In an attempt to lighten up and change my outlook I took a few minutes from my day too look at Ali's blog and her creativity links. Found this. This question was posed...

What 5 seemingly insignificant little things made you happy today?

1. the cookies I packed in my lunch
2. five minutes I took to put my feelings into my sketch book
3. the help I got packing up art/office stuff from a kind, always smiling person
4. someone going out of their way to help me with an errand that needed erranding:)
5. listening to "take it easy" on my ipod speakers in my office

i hate being sick

Booooo...to being sick. Today was my day off and I spent it going to the Dr. Long list of symptoms for a few weeks culminating this weekend with a fever. Not sure what's up but given antibiotics for a possible infection and they think I have bronchitis. The x-ray was normal. I hate taking antibiotics. But in the grand scheme I shouldn't complain. I was mean and complaining when I came home to Cary and I feel bad. I feel like he must think I'm a grouch. Who's always sick. Lately I don't feel good frequently and had been stressed out with being stretched too thin. Hopefully I can lighten up a little.

Tomorrow back to work as long as I feel ok. My work weeks will be short during the summer. Next week I start my last grad class for my CAGS in counseling to be state license eligible. I can't wait to be done with it. Two nights a week for 6 weeks. But...fortunately work and class is consolidated to Tue - Thur which will be nice. I'm someone who doesn't like it all spread out...get it done in as little time as possible!

Well..I'm off to wash some dishes and try and feel a little better. And to read my new Memory Makers that came today...and the Country Home issue that I snuck into the grocery cart today ;)

sad

I have been having a day where I feel overwhelmed with everything. One of those days where you feel like running away and throwing your day planner in the ocean. Then I checked my Myspace and heard that a high school friend just lost her Dad last night. He was my Dad's age. Too young. 60's. and I stopped. I feel like crying. For her. For the thought of losing my Dad. For the fact that I feel selfish letting all the unimportant CRAP get to me. It's not important. When I see my Dad later I'm giving him a big, overdue hug. My heart is going out to my old friend. We haven't seen each other or spoken in years but I feel so sad for her. She is an only child and they were a close family. I spent a February vacation with them skiing in Canada when we were Juniors in High School. It is hard to believe. Sending thoughts and prayers her way and her for her mother.