Wednesday, July 2, 2008

perfectionism

Card I made last night: various papers from my stash, K&Co word sticker, ribbon, ink


Moody. That's been me lately it seems. Today especially. No one particular thing to point to. I just am. I try to keep it under the surface but today that has been difficult. That would be fine if it wasn't affecting everyone around me and my relationships. Including me and how I relate to myself. I think much of it has to do with my giant need to be a perfectionist. With everything. everyone. everyday. I am always afraid of "messing up," making a mistake, or disappointing someone. Most of all myself. Sometimes I try to say I should just accept myself - perfectionism and all. But the hard thing is that the very perfectionsim I want to accept makes acceptance so difficult. Why is that? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who must feel like this but I know I'm not. I want to be able to just Let Go...and just BE. I'm tired of always being a worrier. But I'm just not sure I know how. I feel like I can help others find out how to de-stress, relax and Let Go but I don't know how to do this for myself. I need to figure it out! I worked on some cards last night and there seemed to be a theme. A little imbalanced while still being balanced. Words to help me stay grounded and positive like "smile." Tonight I did an entry in my art journal about "Perfect Insecurity." It helped. But I still need to keep figuring it out...and I need to STOP thinking so much...I do know that that is part of the problem! To all who are reading this...thank you so much for listening :)

4 comments:

. said...

Perfectionist chiming in. It takes a lot of practice, but you can let things go and it does get easier.

Great card by the way.

Alyssa said...

Wow...I can really relate. I sometimes have a hard time starting things because I have a certain idea in my head and my perfectionism prevents me from attempting it for fear of not meeting my expectations...thanks for the free therapy! P.S. Love the idea of using scraps like that on a card.

Sarah Coggins said...

I can relate. It's hard to let go and accept we can do great one or two things, but never all. And nor can anyone around us. ((HUGS)) Hope you are feeling better today. The card is beautiful. Love the clean lines and soft colors of it. tfs! :)

Gabrielle said...

Great card, love the greens!

I can easily say I know how you feel. For me, I am harder on myself then anyone else. But why can't I just be as easy going on myself? Once I was able to pinpoint that I was doing it, I was able to fix it before I let it get me down. I hope you can do the same! HUGS!

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