art, life, growth, uncertainty

I started a new Art Journal this weekend. All I have done is the cover. I have been making these collages in the outline of a Mandala (a circle) during one of the art therapy groups I run. Mandalas are used in art therapy frequently and there are many theories and an assessment developed using this form. But just as far as a process they are so relaxing and a form of meditation. They are found in all cultures and I use them a lot in my work and in my own art. No rules other than start with the circle form and go from there. I've been doing a series lately with small squares of magazine collage in colors, patterns and textures that appeal to me. I decided to use it for the cover of my journal....now....where to begin inside...

I want to not think it out too much

Be more spontaneous and free with what I put down

Not worry about my art being pretty

Experiment with techniques, combinations, ideas

Get out my feelings

That's what I hope this journal will be. I tried another in the winter but it really became a different sort of journal. Not the type where I let myself get messy and not worry. I need this badly in my life right now. I'm worrying and feeling negative and it's affecting me and in particular my relationship with Cary. I need to lighten up and I plan to use this journal to help with this.

Today I also took a few minutes out of the day at work to do my own art therapy. Trying to figure out my feelings about clients, work and myself. I found a magazine image I had saved from a Martha Stewart magazine. It was of an acorn that had started to sprout into an oak tree. I loved it. Growth. That's what came to mind when I saw it. How do you grow? What nurtures you? What hinders your growth? How do you get "unstuck"? All of these questions float in my mind and there is something in this picture that fits it all for me. I decided to take my charcoal's and paper to work today so I could focus on it for 10 minutes. Here's what I started...

I was thinking about drawing last night. I used to draw realistic charcoal and pencil drawings all the time. Still lifes, landscapes. I have a huge on one my wall that I see daily that was part of my senior thesis in college. I loved drawing. The challenge of making something look real. It is the perfectionist in me and represents the opposite sort of art I want to do in my Art Journal. I think I need a little of both. Art I can control more and art that is loose. I am feeling out of control with certain elements of my life right now and I hate it. Uncertainty. I need to find a sense of order somewhere and my drawing can do that. I can use my Art Journal for lightening up!

Thanks for listening to me go on and on!